The kid who doesn’t help with household chores: the key is that children know that they are an important part of the family. We take care of our own. Let the child know that he/she is contributed to because of his/her value to the family. Likewise the child is expected to contribute to the family. This is not tied to allowance or any other reward. It is just what people in a committed group do. The second piece is to help the child with seeing what needs to be done that he/she is capable of doing and fits with his/her schedule and preferences. While we all do things we don’t love doing, adults have some measure of choice in which chores they do according to what they enjoy and are good at. Kids should have the same options.